PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
