you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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