Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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