hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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