I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize