there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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