capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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