just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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