Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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