idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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