I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
