Sponge bath it is.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
