Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
