Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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