I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
