highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
