Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Randomize
