u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Just fell off a train. Bad.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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