Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Say something about gay babies.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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