he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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