try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
