is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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