Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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