Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
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The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
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You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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