you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
