You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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