what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Randomize
