remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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