Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
