right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
