I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
