That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
