i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
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