I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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