well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
