Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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