If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
