small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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