I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
