i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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