ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He better not be in your backpack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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