if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
