I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
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Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
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I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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