I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
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Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
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But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.