At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize