she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream