I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios