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I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
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