They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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