is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
