Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
