The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
