i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
