And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He better not be in your backpack
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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