he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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