38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
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Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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