Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You may now shotgun with the bride
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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