Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize