she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
