he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
