Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
