Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
