He is such a slut. More and more my type.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Randomize
